Friday News Update: Jessica Sierra Edition

Remember Jessica Sierra? I don't, actually, because I skipped season four and its barrage of hairy men. Her official bio says she's from Florida, and likes country music. Anyway, homegirl's been all over the news lately. That's her mugshot. So without further ado, I bring you a very special edition of your daily news update.

The Arrest Details
Two weeks after pleading no contest to charges of battery and possession of cocaine stemming from an arrest in April, Jessica was arrested again for causing an "unspecified disturbance" at the Full Moon Saloon near Tampa, where she worked. She could face up to 11 years in prison on charges of disorderly intoxication, resisting arrest and violating parole. Bonus: she allegedly used racial slurs and offered a police officer sexual favors for her release.

The Pregnancy
She also has a baby on the way. The baby daddy is a "rapper," and Jessica is said to be "ecstatic." I would be too if I was going to have a baby in prison! Congratulations, Jessica.

The Sex Tape
Vivid Entertainment, the company that specializes in C-list celebrity sex tapes, is adding Jessica Sierra to their impressive roster of talent. "Jessica Sierra Hardcore" is now on DVD. Order yours today! (Site not entirely safe for work)

The Reality Show
Set your DVRs! In January 2008, Jessica will star in Celebrity Rehab With Doctor Drew alongside Andy Dick, Tome Sizemore, Brigitte Nielsen and Daniel Baldwin. On VH1, natch. In other news, I AM SO WATCHING THAT.

Wednesday News Update and Predictions

Phil Stacey May Be Going to Iraq
Phil Stacey may be going off to Iraq instead of to the Idols Live tour this summer, the Los Angeles Times says. It’s kind of a non-story, because no one confirmed it. I’m more concerned with the fact that Phil’s Navy rock band is called “Pride,” which seems awfully wimpy for a band that is composed of military guys who play rock music. (National Ledger)

Jessica Sierra Will Cut a Bitch
Season 4 flunkie Jessica Sierra is being sued by a man who claims she gashed his head after hurling a cocktail glass at him. Sierra claims she thought he was someone who had spit in her face. She was charged with aggravated assault and cocaine possession. She was just holding the coke for someone, though. The jokes for this story write themselves, so I’ll refrain. (WOAI)

Amanda Coluccio Makes Music
Taking a page out of BFF Antonella Barba’s playbook, the season 6 contestant is making “sexy” music on MySpace, complete with “sexy” pics. In other news, should Amanda and Antonella not make it in the music industry (like that’s even possible), they’ll have a great future starring in lesbian porn together. (Buddy TV)

Bo Bice and, uh, Anthrax?
Anthrax members Scott Ian (aka my future husband) and Frankie Bello will jam with Bo Bice this Friday at Retox, the rock bar co-owned by Ian in NYC this Friday. I will be on a bus to Schenectady for Mother’s Day instead of at the show, crying. (93X Rocks)

And for my predictions, Blake and Kiki in the bottom two with Kiki going home. And I’m also predicting Jordin to win the whole damn thing.

Afternoon Newsbreak

It's a light news day, people. Jennifer Hudson is still whining about the fact that she's like, totally famous now, but that the show was abusive. Boo-fucking-hoo Jennifer Hudson. Also, Chris Daughtry had some shows which some people loved and some people hated. Very exciting stuff. Anyway, here's what little news I did manage to find:

Kellie Pickler, I mean, Jamie Lynn Ward's kin are none too pleased about her telling that whole dad-shoots-mom-then-himself story on national television. The stepmom survived the shooting, by the way. (NY Post)

Jessica Sierra, who was a season 4 finalist and who I don't remember AT ALL, had a stalker. Where's my stalker? Ahem, I mean our stalker. (Tennessean)

Carrie Underwood is not, I repeat, NOT dating woman-hating Dallas Cowboy Tony Romo. So stop telling everyone that, Gossip McRumorpants. (People)

A new DVD called American Idol Unauthorized claims that the show is rigged. To prove their point, they interviewed a bunch of whiny ex-hopefuls who believe the they would have won otherwise. Riiiight. (Toronto Star)