News, Scandals, and Everything You Need To Tide You Over Until Next Week

Well now, kiddies. It wouldn't be a season of Idol without some scandal now, would it? And naturally, there's news, too, like the fact that Jennifer Hudson is going to sing at the Super Bowl, and Idol continues to beat out every other show in existence, ratings-wise.

Hollywood to Emily Wynne-Hughes: SCRAM
As it turns out, the pink-haired rocker got busted for DUI in the summer, and if FOX lets her stay on the show, she may have to perform wearing an alcohol-monitoring bracelet. Oh yeah, and she also has a pretty nice ass and was working in a tattoo parlor the night Britney Spears decided to pop in and shave her head.

Casey Carlson Likes Bikinis Too
At least she uses her boobs for a good cause. Proceeds from her Campus Girls calendar go to the Breast Cancer Research Foundation.

Idol to Texas Club: Only Strippers That Can Sing Allowed!
American Idol producers are suing a Texas strip club for a weekly "Stripper Idol" contest. I have to believe that FreemantleMedia North America has better things to do. Like, oh, I don't, make their show better, maybe?

And finally, here's Katrina Darrell's "modeling" reel:

And So It Goes...

Why hello again! We're back after our long hiatus, which we spent sipping cocktails on a beach in the French Riviera in bikinis and giant sun hats. And we hit the karaoke bars every night in search of our next American Idol, but we came up empty. It's a good thing we arrived back just in time, then, to find out what the new season will bring. What do we think about the addition of Kara DioGuardi? Will Paula leave? Will the abuse heaped on bad hopefuls be lessened by the Paula Godspeed tragedy? Will Simon be even more cranky after getting dumped by Terri Seymour, or will he turn to the loving arms of Ryan Seacrest? So many questions. So few answers.

Luckily, though, there are some things we DO know. And without further ado, we bring you the news.

Gina Glocksen Ties the Knot
Season 6 faux-rocker Gina Glocksen married her beau, Joe Ruzicka, on New Year's Eve in a non-denominational ceremony in Naperville, Illinois. Here are the parts I found interesting: Haley scarnato and Jordin Sparks were bridesmaids, the couple met when she auditioned for his cover band, and Gina is hosting "American Idol Extra." Obviously I'm out of the loop as I don't know what "American Idol Extra" is. They don't have TV in the French Riviera. Not so interesting: Gina's got an album coming out in the middle of the year. I'm guessing it will sound like a bad Pink album.

No Cat Fight, Says Paula Abdul
Despite rumors to the contrary, Paula Abdul is claiming that she's thrilled with the addition of Kara DioGuardi to the judges' table, even going so far as to say they're "like sisters." And therein lies Paula's problem with the press. She can't just say, "It's all good," which we might have believed. She always has to take it so far that everyone's like, "Uh huh." She went on to say that she recently went to a psychic and found out that she and Karla were both birthed from the same unicorn mother in a land far, far away, but they were split up and sent to live with humans after a murder plot was revealed, but someday, they will both claim their rightful thrones as unicorn princesses. See? She just goes too far, you know?

Hudson Family Killer Indicted
William Balfour, the alleged sick fuck that allegedly killed Jennifer Hudson's mother, brother and nephew, was formally indicted on Tuesday. No snark on that one, just news.

Just 12 more days, kids! We'll have daily updates between now and then, and stay tuned for the exciting new things we have in store for you this season, as well as our writer lineup. It's gonna fucking rule -- mark my words.