Morning Quickie

That's the best kind, really. I didn't do a stellar job prediction-wise, but in my defense, it's been a whole year and I'm still warming up. Anyway, just wanted to add that they announced the roster of guests coaches for the season. They are, in no particular order:

• Diana Ross


• Gwen Stefani


• Jennifer Lopez


• Jon Bon Jovi


• Tony Bennett


• Martina McBride


• Barry Gibb


• Peter Noone


• Lulu

So they're making it younger and sexier this season. Well, sort of younger and sexier. But hey, if there's no Burt Bacharach I am one happy camper. Also, Jon Bon Jovi is still rocking the hotness, so that's something to look forward to.

Stay tuned for news, links and profanity later this afternoon.

Newsbreak

Katharine "Tits" McPhee will star on "Lonelygirl15" Friday. Jess' head explodes from thinking too hard about fake reality vs. semi-fake reality vs. actual reality. We'll post the video, natch. (Pantagraph)

A buttload of people watched last night's premiere. 37.3 million, to be exact. That's even more than last year. And it breaks some kind of record or something. Dateline? Boston Legal? In yo face, suckas. (TV Week)

Sexy recappers whose American Idol wrap-ups I've been eagerly awaiting return: Michael Slezak from Entertainment Weekly and Joe R (and Jacob?) from Television Without Pity. Here's my favorite excerpt, from the TWoP recap:

Tashawn Moore is "dressed to impress" in a men's shirt and tie and is generally the most fantastic person on this entire show. She can't sing, nor can she remember any of the words to Prince's "Kiss," but she keeps snapping and shimmy-shaking and closing her eyes, picking out lyrics from the ether as she passes. She's utterly hysterical and cute and terrible, and it goes on forever and is totally worth it.

TMZ thinks Paula Abdul was downing whisky in her Coca-Cola cup (Sponsor alert! Product placement!) like there was no tomorrow to numb the pain of the performers. Can't say I blame her -- I did the same. (TMZ)

Diana Ross to share her special brand of batshit crazy with Idol hopefuls. Also, she's too busy to see Beyonce unconvincingly (so I've heard) try to emulate her in Dreamgirls (ABC-7 Chicago)