Recap, News and Other Blathering

No more auditions! Yay! I'm happy as could be, and the previews for Hollywood week look awesome.

I'm not going to talk about the trainwrecks on Wednesday's show. Only the two that I actually liked. Tami Gosnell, the pedicab driver who sounds like Janis Joplin, is awesome. I love her. Ebony Jointer is just amazing. I bet her other two rollerskating friends secretly hate her. I'm not sure why they let her cohort, Ashley Cleland, through exactly, but whatevs. I'm over it.

Now, onto the news:

WebMD talks to psychology experts about what makes people who couldn't sing their way out of a paper bag audition for American Idol. (WebMD)

Las Vegas contestant Mikalah Gordon shares what really goes on during Idol auditions. (TV Squad)

Ayla Brown's daddy hates the gays. Naturally, everyone hates Senator Scott Brown. And he's not afraid to talk about it, much to the horror of the teachers at the King Philip Regional High School assembly he was speaking at. (CBS News)

Speaking of bad daddies, Clyde Raymond Pickler, Jr., who sired none other than Kellie Pickler, attacked a female acquaintance with a steak knife. Glad to see all that prison time straightened his ass out. (Charlotte Observor)

The final 24 predictions have begun (phillyBurbs)

Idol alum Anthony Federov hits Broadway as a cast member in The Fantasticks (Theater Mania)

More Courtney Love madness. Rumor has it she's been asked to guest judge on Nirvana night. Wait, Idol's doing a Nirvana night? Please. Oh please, let this be true. (Celebrity Spider)

TWoP's Wednesday recap

EW's Wednesday recap

News Roundup

It is with a heavy heart that I report that there is no truth to the rumor that Courtney Love will bump Paula Abdul from her judging berth.

How could this happen, you ask? Because God likes to raise my hopes and then cruelly dash them. Although, in truth, I don't want Paula going anywhere. Her spasms, outbursts and slurred speech are reliably entertaining. I need Paula's crazy. Please don't take this from me. Ever.

I was hoping to see Courtney and Paula riding out their respective highs (and subsequent crashes) side-by-side with Simon Cowell providing color commentary. Courtney would flip him off. The censors would develop callouses from hitting the bleep button to drown out her unending stream of profanity. Then the graphics department would have digitize large portions of the screen to prevent impressionable children from seeing Courtney's boobs and snatch. It would have been fun for all, really.

And now, sadly, this doesn't seem to be in the cards for us. Unless, Barry Manilow or Dionne Warwick swing by after a good bender. I'm sure Whitney can hook her aunt up with a bit of the crack. Think of the ratings! (Us Online)

Onward.

Jennifer Hudson resents being "the girl in the turkey wrapping." Truthfully, I didn't know that she was ever affiliated with poultry but then again, I'm prematurely senile so my recollection -- or lack thereof -- and a token might get you a ride on the subway.

Anyways, apparently Jennifer was branded with this rather forgettable (again, to me) description back during her Idol run and she hasn't quite gotten over it. Hudson tells Essence magazine that she was unfairly pegged as this "character" and had to "sing her way out of it." The show's "abusive," large fries aren't nearly large enough for her liking, yadda, yadda, yadda, whine whine whine.

I've seen and heard many adjectives applied to Hudson of late – Golden Globe winner, SAG winner, Oscar nominee, breakout performer, star-in-the-making, big fatso, etc. I've see no references to turkey and/or any of its trimmings. I mean, I could make an obvious stuffing joke but I'll abstain because I'm classy like that. (People.com)

Bucky Covington's hitting the Grand Ole Opry for the first-time ever. I really have nothing else to say about that because that would require me filling my brain with references to country music and I have better things to do with that precious space. Like memorizing the phone book and/or counting the number of bricks in my apartment building. (AmericanIdol.com)

Thanks to a hit album completely devoid of songs requiring him to inquire if he makes us proud, Chris Daughtry is no longer being a whiny ass bitch about his early ouster last season. Furthermore, he's super tired of all you people telling him he was robbed so y'all can just drop it. Seriously. Stop talking about it. It's not just Chris who's tired of that shit.

If it makes you disgruntled followers feel any better, it was his premature dismissal (hee hee, that sounds dirty) that allowed Daughtry to form... uh, Daughtry, instead of having to go it alone while tethered to a beastly contract laden with stipulations and restrictions and worst of all, crappy ballads that will one day be converted into muzak and pumped into the aisles of the Winn-Dixie as well as performed at eighth grade graduations for years to come.

See, Chris was really worried that the songs spawned from an Idol-produced album "would have stomped on [his] credibility a little bit." No no, Chris, don't be silly. It's your association with Creed that did that. (Access Hollywood)

Photo: Jeff Schneid/Getty Images