Results, Etc: Hot Chicks, Bad Accesorizing, and the Problem With Syesha

We learned some very important lessons tonight.

The first is, if you're a hot chick and you're lacking in the talent department, you'll be safe on American Idol for longer than you deserve. Don't worry, though, hot chicks with mediocre talent don't win.

The second is, if you're a talented singer who doesn't connect with your audience on an emotional level at all, it doesn't matter how many notes you can hit: your days are numbered.

And the third lesson, which is the most important, and Randy Jackson, please take note -- if you're wearing a sweater with a busy neckline, not only is a necklace unnecessary, it's offensive.

So, apparently there are some people who deemed it necessary to call and write begging for more Lennon/McCartney. Because of this, we're going to be subjected to it again next week. Who are these people? Show yourselves! I bet they're the same people who sent in the retarded questions for the new call-in section. Oh, and I'm brainstorming a question that will actually get me on the air, FYI.

Celebs in attendance: Jim Carrey, Sanjaya and Shymali Malakar, and Katharine McPhee with a boring performance. She looked great, though. And I think she winked at her creepy old husband during it. I bet she has daddy issues.

We also had our first Ford commercial tonight, an election parody set to the tune of Cake's "Going the Distance." I thought it was cute. I especially liked the behind-the-podium shots.

29 million votes, people, and at least six million and twelve of them were me voting for Jason Castro. Can you beat that, Melissa? It's on. Start working that dial finger.