Season Seven's Top 24 Revealed

Praise Jesus, we're finally done with all that audition and Hollywood Week bullshit! And now, onto the next phase -- The Top 24 aka The Part of the Season I Kinda Hate Most Because It's Spread out over 3 Nights and Requires Me to Take Notes on 24 Different People, a Task Which Doesn't Sit Well with My Lazy Ass.

Here's who Paula, Randy and Simon deemed worthy...

Men:
David Archuleta, 17, Murray, Utah
Colton Berry, 18, Staunton, Va.
Robbie Carrico, 26, Melbourne, Fla.
Jason Castro, 20, Rockwall, Texas
David Cook, 25, Tulsa, Okla.
Chikezie Eze, 22, Inglewood, Calif.
Garrett Haley, 17, Elida, Ohio
David Hernandez, 24, Glendale, Ariz.
Luke Menard, 29, Crawfordsville, Ind.
Danny Noriega, 18, Azusa, Calif.
Jason Yeager, 28, Branson, Mo.
Michael Johns, 29, Los Angeles by way of Australia

Women:
Amanda Overmyer, 23, Mulberry, Ind.
Brooke White, 24, Van Nuys, Calif.
Joanne Borgella, 25, Hoboken, N.J.
Kristy Lee Cook, 24, Selma, Ore.
Amy Davis, 25, Cedar Lake, Ind.
Asia'h Epperson, 19, Joplin, Mo.
Alexandrea Lushington, 17, Douglasville, Ga.
Kady Malloy, 18, Houston
Ramiele Malubay, 20, Miramar, Fla.
Syesha Mercado, 21, Miami
Alaina Whitaker, 16, Tulsa, Okla.
Carly Smithson, San Diego by way of Dublin, Ireland

I think I speak on behalf of all the contributors here at American Midol when I point my finger at crybaby Josiah Leming and do a haughty "HA! HA!" followed up with a crude cupping gesture on my non-existent junk to signify that Josiah can and should suck my dick.