Monday News Update

Hi, I suck. I was supposed to finish the second episode recap and provide photos on Thursday but I never did. So sorry. I am coming down from one of the most horrendous weeks in recent memory. My day job was stressful, my freelance gig kicked into hyperdrive and my friends left and right have been having emotional meltdown after emotional meltdown. In other words, I've been preoccupied.

I also decided to actually make good on my New Year's resolution to get my apartment in shape. I have been painting and spackling like the wind. Add to the mix battles with UPS, my web hosting company and zero funds until payday and perhaps you can get a glimpse into my psyche of late. Oh and did I mention I have the PMS? I have been deeeeee-lightful to be around.

But do you know what the upside to such turmoil is? Brut crazy strength! Thanks to an imbalance in estrogen, I single-handedly moved an armoire from one side of the room to the other. Twice. I'm indecisive when redecorating, you see.

But what was my point? Oh right... blog neglect. I'll be better, promise. So, without further ado, here are today's headlines:

American Idol is the Devil
Warner Todd Huston, a columnist from a Christian site, is in an absolute tizzy over the treatment Bruce Dickson, the 19-year-old virgin, received by a "a washed up 80s pop star, a fat guy no one ever heard of and some English dude."

Huston then proceeds to rail against liberal Hollywood's attack on Christian beliefs and morals. Um, because Christians are so accepting of those of differing beliefs and "lifestyles"?

Get laid, Warner.

'Idol' Ratings Kick Ass, Take Names
Well, duh. Alternate headline: "Ratings's Ass = Grass. American Idol = Lawnmower."

The Do's and Don'ts of Auditioning
Would-be warblers, take note. MTV lists what you should and should not do. Trust them. After all, these are the brilliant minds who brought us the wonder that is Tila Tequila and the "Real World/Road Rule Challenge." Trust them.

Suri Cruise Hearts Idol
It's her one respite from this.

Oh, and to prove that I'm not a total slacker, here's a photo of Brandon Green's toenails:

That is all. Bring on San Diego. Here's hoping they have personal tics that are a little less gnarly.