Thursday News Update

J. Lo: That Was Harsh, Yo
It seems Jennifer Lopez didn't think Simon's critique of Haley Scarnato's ever-shrinking wardrobe was very nice. Of course, this is also coming from a woman whose less-than-modest wardrobe choices revolutionized the use of double-sided tape. Hit a nerve, Jenny? (People)

TMZ Goes Inside 'Idol'
The venerable gossip site scored some tickets to this week's show and filed a report on what happened on-camera and off. Why should you care? Two words: Donna Mills. (TMZ)

Season 2 Sex Tape Scandal!
Season Two contestant Olivia Mojica and her boyfriend recorded some of their hot monkey sex and the tape is making the rounds. The only shocking and/or noteworthy thing about this? I have no recollection whatsoever of Olivia. None. However, people will no doubt Google her and I'm a whore for search term traffic so into the news update she goes. Welcome, horny Googlers! (TMZ)

The Truth about Haley's Gams
The long-legged purveyor of suck would like us to believe that her spectacular legs benefit from a bit of the old Max Factor magic. Oh shut up, Haley. Your legs are your one true talent. Embrace 'em and flaunt 'em 'cause your singing sure as hell ain't getting you anywhere. MEE-ow! (EW)

Sanjaya's Sweet Lord
Did you know that Sanjaya's family are former Hare Krishnas? You know, come to think of it, I thought I saw him rocking a tambourine in an airport once. Oh, and he was also poor or some shit like that. Read on. (The Post Chronicle)

Holy Rollers Rejoice that a Dirty Heathen Got the Heave-ho
Hallelujah and praise be! Haley has rejoined Satan in the Ninth Circle of Hell while the Bible Thumpers, Phil Stacy and Jordin Sparks, survived another week. Praise Jesus and pass the collection plate for their prayers have been answered. It's good to know the Son of God is focusing on what really matters. (The Christian Post)