The Official Paula Abdul Scattergram: Weeks 12 & 13

This week American Midol has determined that Paula's Level o' Crazy is 3.0 (out of a possible 10). Last week, she was a 7.0 (primarily for the Sanjaya/Frank Sinatra comparison) but I was too lazy to post about it. You'll live. For closer inspection and to preserve your eyesight, please click on the graph to enlarge:

Click to enlarge

Paula's Key: Normal: 1-3; In-Between: 4-6; Certifiable: 7-10
Our Key: Doing Cartwheels: 1-3; Bummed: 4-6; Majorly Pissed: 7-10
Sanjaya's Key: Sucks Hard: 1-10; Sucks Major Ass: 4-6; Sucks Big, Hairy Donkey Dick: 7-10

Analysis: Haley's ouster was long overdue and not at all shocking and since Paula wasn't too keen on her anyway, there was no real catalyst for a certified crying jag. In fact, there were no discernible outbursts or flashes of crazy this week at all. Man, this season sucks. However, Paula's eyes were quit slit-like and her speech had a slower cadence, which to me, suggests medication of the sedative variety. Actually, come to think of it, she looked a lot like I did after I was doped up on hydrocodone after getting a few teeth yanked some years back. Mmm... Vicodin.

Until next time, think chemical imbalance!