The Official Paula Abdul Scattergram: Week 14

This week American Midol has determined that Paula's Level o' Crazy is 2.0 (out of a possible 10). For closer inspection and to preserve your eyesight, please click on the graph to enlarge:

Click to enlarge

Paula's Key: Normal: 1-3; In-Between: 4-6; Certifiable: 7-10
Our Key: Doing Cartwheels: 1-3; Bummed: 4-6; Majorly Pissed: 7-10
Sanjaya's Key: Sucks Hard: 1-10; Sucks Major Ass: 4-6; Sucks Big, Hairy Donkey Dick: 7-10

Analysis: Ding dong, Sanjaya is gone! However, his data line remains because, really, his level o' suck will remain consistently high, with or without a berth on the show. In other words, the green line is staying.

Maybe now that the dead weight is gone, Paula will have one of them there bona fide breakdowns when she becomes overcome by the talent of one of the remaining hopefuls. Aw, fuck it... who am I kidding? She's as bored of this batch of nobodies as we all are. I hate them all for making Paula Abdul, of all people, appear mentally competent. This is a sad season, indeed.

Until next time, think hairy conniption!