Monday News Update

So I kinda I blew off Friday's news update and I never bothered to update The Official Paula Scattergram. Yeah, I kinda suck. Anyhoo, the latter is coming soon and the former is... well, do you really care at this point? It's old by now. Move on.

Here are today's headlines:

It's Official: Phil Stacey Is the Worst
It took a website to tell us this? I've been saying this for weeks, bitches. (Vote for the Worst)

Sanjaya Delivers Tonight's Top 10 List on 'Letterman'
Nope, the shock of his meteoric rise/fall/newfound fame still hasn't worn off. I need more time. (Orlando Sentinel)

Sanjaya Did D.C.
Global warming, schmobal warming -- it was Karl Rove's impassioned defense and feverish voting for Sanjaya that set Sheryl Crow off. (People)

Ellen DeGeneres to Host 'Idol Gives Back'
Ellen promises to give Paula a run for her money what with all the rambling anecdotes, non-sequiturs and sporadic fits of dancing. At least it ain't Rosie. (CBS News)

Celine & Elvis to Perform Duet... Yes, I Said Celine & Elvis to Perform a Duet. I Shit You Not
It's far too creepy and sacrilegious for me to give it an ounce more thought so I won't. (TMZ)