Monday News Update

Ryan Seacrest Taps Jordin Sparks
To win, people... TO WIN. (People)

Speaking of Ryan's Homosexuality...
Dude, when you utter the phrase "deep tissue massage" in the same sentence as "Simon Cowell," it doesn't exactly do much in the whole dispelling rumors department. (Daily News)

We're Not Alone in our Annoyance
It seems Sanjaya's fellow contestants are none too pleased with his indestructibility. You might even say they're pissed. My guess is that it's Haley Scarnato leading the backstage backlash because Sanjaya's stealing her sucky thunder. She's actually the worst, dammit, and she wants y'all to recognize. (TMZ)

The Creepy 'Idol' Bandleader: Unmasked
Everything you wanted to know about Rickey Minor! Actually, I'm not sure anyone cares but I was in desperate need of non-Sanjaya-related filler. (CNN)

Elliott Sets a Record
Surprisingly, it wasn't in a fucked-up teeth contest. Congrats, Elliott! (Post Chronicle)

Tony Bennett Sings with Idols This Week
Here's hoping he didn't leave his hearing aid in San Francisco too.(Starpulse News Blog)