A Timely Recap

Jess? I am with you. 100%. I felt very bad for Sanjaya at first but enough is enough.

Ok. I watched the show on a delay last night so I was able to fast forward through some particularly painful moments. I am not going to go into a lengthy recap as my associates have already done a bang up job and -well- it's really because one of my crowns (tooth, not royal accoutrement but draw your own conclusion) fell out and I am cranky and tired from all this unemployment.

So here it is.

Brandon: Again- did he even sing last night?

Melinda: I sent a text to Jess that said "If she does not win I am joining al queda" I think that about sums it up. I got all teary and misty over her.

(Note to over patriotic lunatics that will take that literally- I AM NOT really going to join al queda- nor do I in any way condone their practices. Thank you and God Bless America)

Chris: I can't believe that that was the same guy who said he wanted to watch David Hasselhoff cry. He back talked Simon ONCE and now he has been reduced to a Michael Boltonesque Lite FM whiner who just wants to be loved. I also echo Simon when I say LEAVE YOUR GLASSES ON DUDE.

Gina: Remember that line in the 1988 masterpiece film "Working Girl"? Joan Cusack's character said- "Sometimes I sing and dance around the house in my underwear. Doesn't make me Madonna. Never will. " Take heed of that, Glockenspiel. Your chokers and rebel haircut don't make you Joan Jett and they never will. Hell, they don't even make you Joan Cusack. Go home already.

Sanjaya: I fast forwarded through his performance. I can't take it anymore. He had to be wearing curlers at some point for last night's monstrosity. All I can say is that his different hairdos remind me of when me and my neighbor friend Kelly used to do experimental hairstyles on her little brother.

Haley: I did not hate Haley last night. That is the best I can muster.


Phil: I finally figured it out. He's Gollum. If he starts calling himself Smeagol in the first person and calling winning idol "The Precious" don't say I didn't warn you you.

LaKisha: Kiki. I don't know what else to say. The piece of hair in her eyes bugged me bit otherwise she was phenomenal.

Blake: You know, he has douchey tendencies but I have to give him credit for his effort. I agree that his vocals were not stellar but I think he did a lot better and should not listen to what Simon says. (Ha! See what I did there? "Simon says"? Genius.)

Stephanie: Not sure. I think I dozed off while she was singing.

Chris: I DON'T GET IT. He is like a badly out of tune Justin Timberlake who is most definitely NOT bringing sexy back. I don't think he even he had it to begin with. Seriously.

Jordin: I am not all a-swoon the way the judges were. I liked it for the most part- but I am afraid she is teetering into McPhee territory...but she is young and hopefully she will learn that the path of the righteous does lead to becoming a mewling self-absorbed skank.

Predictions?
Bottom three: Stephanie, Gina, Brandon
Going Home: Brandon

Should be going home? Sanjaya. No offense kid, but it's time.