Friday News Update... on Saturday

So yeah, I'm bringing you yesterday's news update today. How bad ass am I? Actually, tired as all fuck is the more accurate term. Pardon the missed deadline. Mama had a case of the exhaustion, you see.

Okay, enough stalling. Here are your headlines, bitches:

Warning: Freaky Sanjaya Photoshop Experiment Ahead
Hours later and I'm still trying to get the sting out of my scorched eyes. (TMZ)

Bucky Covington Sings, Sings a Song... of Paralysis
I'm betting it will be the feel-good hit of the summer. (People)

Gwen Stefani's 'Idol' Appearance Is upon Us
It's Gwen's turn to mentor the hopefuls during Pop Week. No word on whether she'll be encouraging them to dress like complete and total tards. (The Gossip Fix)

Past Contestant Report Card
See how Kimberly Locke stacks up against Kellie Pickler. And I swear this has nothing to do with breast size. No really, it doesn't. (Scripps)

LaKisha's Daughter Wants Her Mama Back
Little Brionne is really missing her mommy and wants her home tout de suite. Hmmm... I think we now know who's really jamming the phone lines with votes for Sanjaya. (MLive.com)