The Official Paula Abdul Scattergram: Week 5

This week American Midol has determined that Paula's level o' crazy is 1.5 (out of a possible 10). For closer inspection and to preserve your eyesight, please click on the graph to enlarge:

Click to enlarge

Analysis: Fuck you, American Idol producers, for your clever and effective "Make Paula less crazy-looking" edits. It's working, as evidenced in the plummeting data line. If this keeps up, I might have to start tracking my level of crankiness in relationship to Paula's perceived coherence. So not fair. Give me unedited, unfiltered, unbridled insane Paula or give me death! Well, not death, necessarily. How about a pinch in the butt? Yeah, that'll do.

Until next time, think meltdown!