A Brief News Brief

Oooh lawdy, I am behind on my Midol homework this week! Fear not, I furiously took notes during tonight's Hollywood episode and will present them to you tomorrow in a brand spanking new post. In the meantime, here's a quick look at today's headlines:

Paula: I'm Not a Lush!
She only plays one on TV... quite believably, I might add. Someone give that broad an Emmy. (AP)

American Idol Producers: Paula's Full of Shit... Booze-Soaked Shit, to Be Exact
Actually, she is really, really tanked on the set but only looks somewhat trashed to us at home thanks to some generous editing commissioned by show producers. (Reality TV Magazine)

Bucky's Gettin' a Deeee-vorce, Y'all
Tomorrow's headline: American Midol colleagues Jess and Mejack charged with plotting to don diapers, drive 900 miles and then mace each other in the face to win Bucky's affections. (People.com)

Michael Jackson to Moonwalk on the Idol Stage?
I really can't elaborate on this article any further than the headline 'cause I couldn't read the whole thing on account of all the eye covering I had to do because of the accompanying photo of MJ. Not since The Well Girl from The Ring have I been this terrified. (TMZ)