Seattle: A Partial Recap

I slacked last night, boys and girls. I can't even lie. I got home later than expected and didn't finish watching "American Idol." I did catch the beginning and I even scribbled a few thoughts on a legal pad. I'll give the episode the proper treatment later but for now, here are a few of the notes I took:

Jennifer "The Hotness" Chapton: Looks like Sy Snootles, the lead singer of The Max Rebo Band. Um, for you non-nerds, that would be the group that sings in Jabba's palace in "Return of the Jedi." Oh, shut up. You know you loved that movie, Ewoks and all.

Amy Salgado: The chick who needed water and complained "I have a really dry throat." Simon's reply: "Amy, you could like down in a bath with your mouth open and you still couldn't sing." Quite possibly his best comeback ever.

Darwin "Misha" Reedy: "Daria" meets "Working Girl." Dry, lifeless tone coupled with white sneakers and black tights. Did she commute to her audition? Her mother is dressed like The Church Lady. Or that weird chick with the bun played by Ruth Buzzy on "Laugh In."

Thomas "Tommy" Daniels: Looks like the first Lionel from "The Jeffersons."

Melissa Stavros: Hippo.

That's as far as I got, folks. More to come later. Promise. Mean it.

Photo: Galactic News