Oh, Happy Day

I'm excited today, people. Really, really excited. See, Bravo just announced the creation of "Hey Paula," a TV show about the life and times of one Miss Paula Abdul, set to debut sometime this year. According to the Associated Press, cameras will roll as Paula toils away on "Idol" as well as the upcoming "Bratz: The Movie" and her perfume and cosmetics lines. (Yahoo News)

I'm not sure I've ever been this excited about anything. Ever. I am SO going to watch this program religiously. And, naturally, I will chronicle each and every delicious detail in Paula's downward spiral right here on "American Midol." Because rejoicing in someone else's pain and misfortune is so much fun.

Oh and can we discuss "Bratz: The Movie" for a second?! Wow, just when I thought those dolls couldn't get any creepier, along comes Paula Abdul to ratchet things up from simply scary to truly terrifying. Um, well done, Paula?

Sorry, friends, but I'm not going anywhere near that movie. As much as I'm committed to broadcasting Paula's failures (and let's face it, it will fail) in a very public fashion, there are certain things I do value, such as my ability to hold down food and get a good night's sleep without frequent bouts of night terrors. Call me selfish, but you're on your own with this one.