Hello Pot? This is Kettle.

Now you have gone and done it, Simon. Rosie is pissed.

So before I get into it- Yes, I know the sole purpose of this thing is to make fun of everyone on that show. I do think, however, that there is a fine line between good natured fun and outright cruelty. I think that line was crossed over and over last night. I mean, it's one thing to show brief clips of bad singers- that's funny. Showing a backstory that just set up someone's embarrassing downfall? Not so much. I agree with Jess on the whole ringer thing- I think a lot of that was rigged- but what was the point of humiliating the one chick who cried about her kid and her husband? All that did was make me hate the show a little bit and consider watching the "Friday Night Lights" rerun instead.

Onwards.

So I got all swoony over Tommy Daniels. I think he is going to go really far. I would say that he could be my boyfriend but I would not want to say something so early in the season that could possibly bite me in the ass later on. (Like how last February Jess said she wanted to be in an Ace Young/Chris Daughtry sandwich. I am sure she regrets that. I keep bringing it up to make sure.)

I thought the beat box guy was great. I also liked the guy who sang "Faithfully" - but I suspect he will piss me off Ace Young style before long. Who was really great was the 16 year old girl at the end who, apparently, already has a wikipedia page. It was so ridiculous how you heard Simon murmuring how she was one of the best singers while she was performing and when she finished he squawked "UNoriginal NOT unique...bla bla bla" Did she did not appeal to Simon's weiner? The ones who DID appeal to Simon's weiner got sent through with a winky wink. This chick did not get a winky wink. Simon agreed to send her through after he found out her dad was in the NFL. As I suspected all along, Simon is a big sissypants.

The most cringe-worthy moment of the night for me was when that freako who went by "Carlene" busted into that demented bunny-hop when she started singng Baby Got Back. I actually changed the channel. I also cringed when the Really Tall Chick stood next to Ryan Seacrest. The editors of that show seem hell bent on proving that Seacrest is, in fact, short.

Randy- WTF DAWG? You are not the mean one. Simon is the mean one. You are the "yo dawg I am not feeling you bro" guy. Stop being mean. It makes me feel icky.

In conclusion, I did learn two very important things last night:

1. Hot pink stirrup arm tights are ALWAYS a good idea.

2. If you give yourself the moniker "The Hotness" then perhaps others will follow suit.