All the News That's Fit to Pinch

I know you've been foaming at the mouth and battling the shakes for your next "Idol" news fix so suffer no longer, my fellow fiends. Here's the latest:

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes! Twists and turns are afoot! According to an executive producer of our beloved program, we can look forward to "a big-event show, sometime in the middle of the season, something that will blow America away." Hmm... Anyone want to take a stab at what the surprise could possibly be? My guess is that Randy ventures beyond his usual five-word vocabulary. (MSNBC)

Fear not, all you non-techie types and poor slobs prone to the occasional TiVo/DVR programming mishap! Episodes of Season 6 will be available online immediately after the broadcast. That's a huge relief for me because I'm going to have a dickens of a time explaining the tantrum-induced crack in my cable box to my cable provider. It didn't record a results show last season and well, it had to pay. But between you, me and the lamppost, I'm telling them that's the condition it arrived in. You dig? (The Daily Reel)

In other news, "Idol" producers have finally figured out what we've known all along -- the song selections for finalists suck copious amounts of ass. So, in an effort to find something a little less shitty for the top two to warble, producers are reportedly adding a songwriting contest this season. Oh good! Now we'll have a name and face to put with the usual scorn and insults. Potential applicants: Make sure your contact info is not a matter of public record because we WILL track you down and ridicule you mercilessly, if need be. (Reality TV World)

Have you just been dying to know what John Stevens, the carrot-topped crooner from Season 3 has been up to these days? Yeah, me neither. But you can get yourself up to speed on the likes of Frenchie Davis, Kimberly Caldwell, Jim Verraros and that perky wee Diana DeGarmo thanks to the crack investigative team over at Entertainment Weekly.

Oh and as of this posting, it is 7 days, 4 hours, 38 minutes and 4 seconds to the Season 6 premiere. Not that I'm obsessed or anything...