'So You Think You Can Dance': The Recap

Hi, I'm Dan Karaty. I'm short. Because I'm bitter about my small stature, I'm going to just openly hate on everyone for no good reason

Someone was in a wee bad mood last night. The man, not the mood. Here's a tip, Dan. If Nigel loved it and Mary Murphy screamed like a banshee, and you hated it, you're probably wrong. Can we just be done with Dan and put Cicely and Olisa in permanent rotation?

Some things I loved about last night that Mejack is sure to disagree with. I adore Heidi. I want her to sleep over my house, and I want to drink lots of Jolt and paint each other's toenails and look up ex-boyfriends on Myspace and make fun of their new girlfriends. She unleashed her inner funky white girl, and brought it last night. Also, I thoroughly enjoyed Brian Friedman's creepy doll routine. I thought Ashlee and Dmitry did a spectacular job with it, too. That's right, Dan Karaty. Suck it.

I really need to start watching the show in real time and not later on DVR. I watch it right smack in the middle of voting, and I seriously vote for everyone. I had to vote for Benji and Donyelle three times to make up for the fact that I voted for everyone else once. Ivan and Allison got two votes. In fact, the only people I didn't vote for last night are Jessica and Jaymz. Jessica, incidentally, bears more than your passing resemblance to Stephanie Klein, don't you think?

Predictions? I think Jessica and Jaymz are both going home tonight. Not that they're not good dancers, because they are. But they're a little lacking in the personality department. Or maybe they just got the Melissa McGhee treatment. I'm still bitter about Melissa McGhee, to tell you the truth. Homegirl got shafted on camera time. My other two couple predictions for the bottom three: Heidi and Ryan and Martha and Travis. That's right. I said Martha and Travis. Think I'm wrong? I'm never wrong. Okay, I'm often wrong, and I may even be wrong about this, but who knows? Watch and see.

My top two favorite dancers right now? Benji and Allison. But if Musa and Dmitry want to tag team me, and by tag team me I mean have lots of sex with me at the same time, in case you thought I was talking about touch football or some shit, then I'll gladly change my vote.