VOTE FOR TAYLOR!

I am sorry Elliott. I tried. I echo Ryan Seacrest when I say that you are a good man, Elliott.

Last night was sad. I got sniffly and misty when they showed the video of Elliott's visit to Virginia. I enjoyed watching Taylor's return to Alabammy. I threw whatever was in reach at the TV when they showed McSkank's return home. I HATE HATE HATE her. She is undoubtedly talented and very, very pretty but HOLY CRAP ON A STICK is she full of herself. Seriously. She had an opportunity to acknowledge the support she gets from the McParents -- who are ALWAYS present and ALWAYS WEEPING -- but instead she giggles "I hardly ever TALK to them!" Asshole. She should be thanking the McMother, on a near constant basis, for teaching her how to sing. Instead she gives an unenthusiastic "hi mom, hi dad," like she was doing them a favor. She is the biggest bag of douche I have ever seen.

I have much love for Seacrest for handing McPhee her shoes with total disdain. Seacrest is my DAWG.

My mother called me when the show was over and told me that someone needs to remind McPhee that she has a big doopy ass and that her poop does not smell like strawberries. My mom also called Taylor "Michael McCocker." I laughed and asked her if I could use that and she told me to not mention anything she says on the "blob."

So I'm not doing that. On the blob.