The 'Idol' Addict's Withdrawal Diary: Week One

Subject: Curly McDimple

Length of withdrawal: Day 1/Week 1

Comments/Observations:

8:00 PM EST: Subject observed seeming slightly forlorn and confused.

8:15 PM EST: Subject observed theorizing about what this week's theme would be if the program were still running.

8:20 PM EST: Subject observed downloading low-grade, poor-quality mp3s and compiling them into an iTunes playlist.

8:30 - 8:45 PM EST: Subject observed listening to and offering three separate critiques at the end of each song.

Note: Multiple personalities formed during this period. One possesses an English accent; one is prone to the overuse of colloquial expressions such as "dawg" and "'aight"; the third personality speaks in tongues.

8:46 PM EST: Subject observed arguing with herself.

8:47 PM EST: Subject observed threatening to "walk if [Subject] doesn't let me finish my sentence."

8:47 PM EST: Subject observed assuming a fourth personality and cracking wise about the contents of the plastic cup situated in front of Subject.

8:51 PM EST: Subject observed pausing for "a word from our sponsors" citing "We have some bills to pay" as the reason.

8:54 PM EST: Subject observed returning from commercial break.

8:55 PM EST: Subject observed instructing "viewers" to call various phone numbers with an 866 prefix.

8:55 PM EST: Subject observed reminding "the folks at home" to "tune in tomorrow for the results show" and urging them to "stick around for 'Prison Break.'"

8:59 PM EST: Subject observed exclaiming, "[Subject] out!" and dimming studio apartment lights.

9:00 PM EST: Subject observed stubbing toe in tiny, darkened apartment and uttering a profanity.