All Out of Love

I'm not going to lie, I wept like a little girl who just spilled grape juice on her pink ruffled dress when Elliott got the boot. And when he went back home to Virginia, back when I already knew he was going to get the boot. He will be missed, by me anyway. Especially now that I no longer care who wins. Okay, if I'm being really honest, I haven't cared since Bucky had a bad day. That's right. BUCKY. You got a problem with that?

Anyway, back to Elliott. I'm not saying he's gay or anything, but have you noticed that Elliott seems to be at his most joyous and full of life when he'd cradled in Ryan Seacrest's arms? And if Elliott's tinier than Seacrest, then how small is he? Quite a Lilliputian crew of male contestants this season, if you ask me.

Anyway, bring on the finale. Bring on the Paula crazy. Bring on the Tits McPhee oversinging. Bring on the Taylor retard dance. And when it's all over, know that we, your American Midol contributors, will not go anywhere. We'll still be here, telling you which WB show Lisa Tucker will be guest-starring on, and which cookie-cutter rock band Chris Daughtry joins, and what special and wonderful magical things Boyfriend Bucky does. Hell, every little thing he does is magic.